Fauxjob.com: FUTURE BLOG

Photo

Tue, 29 May 2012 23:23:28 -0700

Photo

Tue, 29 May 2012 11:15:49 -0700

I just logged into Google+ for the first time in months only to...

Thu, 24 May 2012 15:46:02 -0700

I just logged into Google+ for the first time in months only to find out my account was “suspended”!? SUPER SAD FACE!!!!!!

FILE UNDER: WATERSHED MOMENTS IN FILM MARKETING

Thu, 24 May 2012 02:10:00 -0700

FILE UNDER: WATERSHED MOMENTS IN FILM MARKETING

Guitar HERO.

Wed, 23 May 2012 23:49:57 -0700

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

Guitar HERO.

The inside says: “Hot, Loaded, and Delivered to my...

Wed, 23 May 2012 11:50:59 -0700

The inside says: “Hot, Loaded, and Delivered to my doorstep!”

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～『✧~KAWAII DESU~✧』

Mon, 21 May 2012 14:42:36 -0700

Angry / Displeased: (*≧m≦*) (>_<) (,,#ﾟДﾟ) ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ o(>< )o ｏ( ><)o ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ（＞д＜）（;≧皿≦） [○･｀Д´･○] ヽ(#`Д´)ﾉ Σ(-`Д´-ﾉ；)ﾉ (((p(>o<)q))) (/ﾟДﾟ)/ ( ¬д¬。) ヽ(#`Д´)ﾉ (¬､¬) （；¬＿¬) (;¬_¬) (；¬д¬) (≧σ≦) o(-`д´- ｡) ヽ(●-`Д´-)ノ (*￣m￣) (´Д｀) (；￣Д￣） (¬_¬)ﾉ (＃｀д´)ﾉ (」゜ロ゜)」 Σ(▼□▼メ) (〝▼皿▼） (▼皿▼#) ヽ( ｀0´)ﾉ (︶︹︺) (≧０≦) （。＞。＜。）【><。】（━┳━◇━┳━）(━┳━＿＿━┳━) (━┳━○━┳━) (━┳━ _ ━┳━) (┳◇┳) {{|└(>o< )┘|}} ＼(＠O＠)／（≧▼≦；) ＼(〇O〇)／ s(・｀ヘ´・;)ゞ（▼へ▼メ）＼(`O´θ／ θ＼(；￢_￢) ヽ(｀⌒´メ)ノ凸(-0-メ) 凸(｀△´＋）凸(｀0´)凸凸(｀⌒´メ)凸＼(｀0´)／ -`д´- (>人<)
Apologizing: m(_ _)m m(._.)m ｍ（．＿．）ｍ（ﾉ´д｀） (シ_ _)シ <(_ _)>　＜(。_。)＞ｍ（＿　＿；；ｍ m(￢0￢)m
Bears: (￣(エ)￣) (｡･ω･｡) (●｀･(ｴ)･´●) (*ノ・ω・）川´･ω･`川 ( (ﾐ´ω`ﾐ)) ヾ(T(エ)Tヽ) ＼(・｀(ｪ)・)/ ⊂(ο･㉨･ο）⊃ (^(エ)^) (^(I)^) (￣(ｴ)￣)ﾉ ⊂(￣(工)￣)⊃ ⊂(^(工)^)⊃ ⊂(・(ェ)・)⊃ (*￣(ｴ)￣*) ヾ(´(ｴ)｀ﾉﾞ (／(ｴ)＼) ⊂(￣(ｴ)￣)⊃ “(`(エ)´)ノ (｀(エ)´)ﾉ Ψ(￣(ｴ)￣)Ψ (/-(ｴ)-＼) (´(エ)｀) ヽ(￣(ｴ)￣)ﾉ (／￣(ｴ)￣)／ ┏((＝￣(ｴ)￣=))┛ (●￣(ｴ)￣●) (♥ó㉨ò)ﾉ♡ ・㉨・ (ó㉨ò)
Cats: (=^･ｪ･^=) (=^‥^=) ( =①ω①=) (=^･^=) o(^・x・^)o d(=^･ω･^=)b V(=^･ω･^=)v (=ＴェＴ=) (=;ェ;=) (=｀ω´=) ヽ(=^･ω･^=)丿 (=^･ω･^)y＝＼(=^‥^)/'` (^-人-^) ヽ(^‥^=ゞ) (^・ω・^ ) (=^-ω-^=) b(=^‥^=)o (.=^・ェ・^=) （=´∇｀=）ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ ~(=^‥^)ノ ~(=^‥^)/ (=ｘェｘ=) (=；ェ；=) (=｀ェ´=) (^･o･^)ﾉ" <(*ΦωΦ*)> (^._.^)ﾉ └(=^‥^=)┐ ='①。①'=
Confused: (´･_･`) (◎_◎;) (｀_´)ゞ (◎-◎；) (・_・ヾ (￣(エ)￣)ゞ (-_-)ゞ゛ ('◇')? ヽ(゜Q。)ノ？ (´｀;) ？【・ヘ・?】【・_・?】 ( ・◇・)？ (゜-゜) ヾ(´･･｀｡)ノ" ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ) ( ?´_ゝ｀) o(´^｀)o (´−｀) ﾝｰ (」ﾟヘﾟ)」 (•ิ_•ิ)? 「(°ヘ°) (。ヘ°) ヽ(゜Q。)ノ？ (´｀;) ？〈(゜。゜) (゜。゜) く（＾_・）ゝ (^～^;)ゞ
Dancing: ヘ(^_^ヘ) (ノ^_^)ノ o(^^o) (o^^)o (ノ´＿ゝ｀）ノヾ(^ ^ゞ (ノ‥)ノ ( ﾉ^ω^)ﾉﾟヾ(*´∇`)ﾉヾ(･ω･*)ﾉ (*ﾉ´□`)ﾉ。(⌒∇⌒。) (。⌒∇⌒)。〜(￣▽￣〜) (〜￣▽￣)〜〜(^∇^〜）（〜^∇^) 〜(￣△￣〜) (〜￣△￣)〜 ┗(｀ー´)┓ ┏(｀ー´)┛ ┗(＾0＾)┓ (＾0＾)┛ (ノ￣ー￣)ノヘ(￣ー￣ヘ) ヘ(￣ω￣ヘ) (ノ￣ω￣)ノヘ(^o^ヘ)(ノ^o^)ノヾ(-_- )ゞヾ(＠^∇^＠)ノ (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ＼(^ω^＼) (ﾉﾟ▽ﾟ)ﾉヽ(ﾟｰﾟ*ヽ) ヽ(*ﾟｰﾟ*)ﾉ (ﾉ*ﾟｰﾟ)ﾉヽ(*´Д｀*)ﾉ (o´･_･)っヾ(*д*) ヽ(°◇° )ノヽ( °◇°)ノ (ノ°ο°)ノ (ﾉ･o･)ﾉヾ(^^ゞ) ヾ(ﾟ∀ﾟゞ) ヽ(´ー`)ﾉヾ（*⌒ヮ⌒*）ゞ〈( ^.^)ノ ┌（★ｏ☆）┘ └（★ｏ★）┐ ♪(┌・。・)┌
Dead: x_x；） (*_*) (×_×;） (×_×# (#+_+) (+_+) ヾ(×× ) ﾂ（Ω_Ω）へ（><#）ノ (＊0＊;)
Dogs: Uo･ｪ･oU ∪･ω･∪ U｡･ｪ･｡U ▽・ω・▽ ▽・ｗ・▽ Ｕ^皿^Ｕｖ・。・ＶＵＴｪＴＵ (^・(I)・^) U・♀・U ｏ（Ｕ・ω・）⊃ (^・x・^) (U・x・U) ▼o・ェ・o▼ U＾ェ＾U U￣ｰ￣U
┌U･ｪ･U┘ └@(･ｪ･)@┐ ヾ(●ω●)ノ (〓￣(∵エ∵)￣〓)
Drinking: ｏ口(・∀・ ) (。・・)_且且_(ﾟ◇ﾟ；)ノﾞ ~旦_(^O^ ) (　゜Д゜)⊃旦 ( ´･ω･`)_且~ ( ^-^)_旦"" (*^◇^)_旦 (*｀▽´)_旦~~ ~(=^‥^)_旦~ (＾-＾)＿日 ~~旦_(･o･;) ( -_-)旦~ (＃´ー´)旦且_(・_・ )
Evil / Sneaky: (・｀ω´・) ψ(｀∇´)ψ （｀ー´） (｡･｀ω´･｡) o(｀ω´*)o | ｀Д´| (｀ε´)(σ- `д･´) (｀Д´*) （=｀〜´=） (ﾒ｀ﾛ´)/ Ψ(｀▽´)Ψ (#｀∀´)_Ψ (*-`ω´- )人 (ц｀ω´ц*) (｀∀´)Ψ ψ(*｀ー´)ψ Ψ(｀◇´)Ψ “ψ(｀∇´)ψ
Greetings / Goodbyes: ヾ(＾∇＾) (^-^*)/ ( ﾟ▽ﾟ)/ ( ^_^)／ (^o^)/ (^ _ ^)/ ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ (ﾉ´∀｀*)ﾉ (ヾ(´･ω･｀) ☆ﾐ(o*･ω･)ﾉ＼(＾▽＾*) (*＾▽＾)／ (￣▽￣)ノヾ(-_-;)
ヾ( ' - '*) ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノ ~ヾ＾∇＾ ~ヾ(＾∇＾) ＼(￣O￣) (｡･ω･)ﾉﾞ (*^･ｪ･)ﾉ
(￣∠ ￣ )ﾉ (*￣Ｏ￣)ノヾ(｡´･_●･`｡)☆ (/・0・) (ノ^∇^) (,, ･∀･)ﾉ゛ (。･д･)ﾉﾞ
＼(°o°；） (｡´∀｀)ﾉ (o´ω`o)ﾉ ( ･ω･)ﾉ (。^_・)ノ ( ・_・)ノ＼(-o- ) (。-ω-)ﾉ
＼(-_- ) ＼( ･_･) ヾ(´￢｀)ﾉヾ(☆▽☆) (^ Q ^)/゛ ~(＾◇^)/ ヘ('◇'、)/ ヘ(°◇、°)ノ
ヘ(°￢°)ノヘ(゜Д、゜)ノ（゜ρ゜)ノー( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
Happy: (●´∀｀●) (｀・ω・´)” ヽ(；▽；)ノ (*´・ｖ・) (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o))) ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆ (⌒▽⌒)☆ ⊂((・▽・))⊃ (≧∇≦)/ (´･ω･`) （’-’*) ∩( ・ω・)∩ (*≧▽≦)
＼（＾＾）／Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ（　´∀｀） (^～^) ＼（＠￣∇￣＠）／　 (☆^O^☆)
(★^O^★) (☆^ー^☆) (´ω｀★) ＼（Ｔ∇Ｔ）／ヽ(*≧ω≦)ﾉ *(*´∀｀*)☆ Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ﾉ d=(´▽｀)=b ＼(*T▽T*)／ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ（*＾ワ＾*） (＾Д＾)ﾉ (´∀`) (°◇°;) (゜▽゜;) (/^▽^)/ (ﾉ´ｰ`)ﾉヽ(´ー`)ﾉ (　＾∇＾) ＼( ｀.∀´)／
(●⌒∇⌒●) o(≧∇≦o) ヽ(｀◇´)/ ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ（＾ω＾）｡◕‿◕｡ ⊙ω⊙　⊙△⊙　 o (◡‿◡✿) (∩_∩) (•ิ_•ิ) (/•ิ_•ิ)/
Hiding: |･ω･｀) ﾍ(･_| ｜−・;） |ω・） |_・)
Kissing: (´ε｀ )♡ ～(^з^)-☆ |°з°| （＿ε＿） ('ε') |(￣3￣)| （￣ε￣＠）（*＾3＾）
(´ε｀*) (○´3｀)ﾉ (☆´3｀) (*￣з￣) (づ￣ ³￣)づ（○゜ε＾○） (TεT) (-ε- ) （＠ーεー＠）（*＾3＾）/～☆ ლ(|||⌒εー|||)ლ
Laughing: （・∀・）（　´∀｀）（⌒▽⌒）（＾ｖ＾）
Mellow / Whatever: ヽ（´ー｀）┌ ┗┐ヽ(′Д、`*)ﾉ┌┛ ヽ( ´¬`)ノ ┗┃・ ■ ・┃┛ ヾ(´A｀)ノﾟ
ヽ（・＿・；)ノヽ(　￣д￣;)ノ＼（〇_ｏ）／ヽ(。_°)ノ＼(;´□｀)/ ヾ(*´ー`)ノヽ('ー`)ノヽ(ー_ー )ノ (´～｀；） ┐('～`；)┌ ヽ（*ω。）ノ (;´・`)> （＾～＾）
Painful: ☆⌒(＞。≪) ☆￣(＞。☆ ~(>_<。)＼ヘ(><#)ノ (。_＋)＼ (xLx)ヾ /(*ι*)ヾ (ノ><)ノ／(x~x)＼ ◎☆（♯××）┘ ヘ（。□°）ヘ
Sad / Crying: ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<;)･ﾟﾟ･｡ (。┰ω┰。) (*´；ェ；`*) (゜´Д｀゜) （ｉДｉ） (´；ω；`) 。ﾟ(ﾟﾉД｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ヽ(´□｀。)ﾉ (ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ {{p´Д｀q} ヽ(●ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ●)ﾉﾟ ( p_q) .・゜゜・（／。＼）・゜゜・． (个_个) ((´д｀)) ( ≧Д≦) ｡゜(｀Д´)゜ (。┰ω┰。) p(´⌒｀｡q)
Scared: (ノдヽ) ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ (／。＼) （／_＼）（／．＼）
Shocked / Surprised: ( ꒪Д꒪)ノ (((( ;°Д°)))) ((((；゜Д゜))) （゜◇゜）（￣□￣；） ∑(O_O；) ＼(>o<)／ ━Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)━ Σ(゜ロ゜;) Σ(゜゜) (*ﾟﾛﾟ) (」゜ロ゜)」 щ(゜ロ゜щ) (ﾉﾟ0ﾟ)ﾉ~ ⊙▂⊙
⊙０⊙ w(°ｏ°)w L(・o・)」 (○o○) （・□・；）
Shy / Embarrassed: ^_^;) (^^ゞ (^^;) (#^.^#) ('-'*) (*^^*) （＠´＿｀＠） (⌒_⌒;) (#｀ε´#ゞ（*/∇＼*） (〃￣ω￣〃ゞ (*´ｪ｀*) (*´∀`*) (*´_ゝ｀) (*´∀`*) (/ω＼) (*ﾉ▽ﾉ) (*ﾉωﾉ) （/｡＼) （。-＿-。）
Singing: ヾ(´□｀* )ノ（＾Ｏ＾☆♪ ＼(^o^)／ (´▽｀)ノ♪ "ヽ(´▽｀)ノ" ヽ(´▽｀；)/♪ ヽ(´・｀)ﾉヽ(○´∀`)ﾉ♪ ヾ(´ρ｀)〃ヾ(´〇｀)ﾉ (´△｀)♪ (ﾉ´▽｀)ﾉ♪
Sleeping / Waking Up: ［(－－)］zzz (´～`) ヾ(。￣□￣)ﾂヾ(￣0￣； )ノヾ(。￣□￣)ﾂヾ(。￣□￣)ﾂヾ(￣□￣;)ﾉ (。-ω-)zzz (-_-) zzz (∪｡∪)｡｡｡zzz
Smug: ー(￣～￣)ξ (`へ´*)ノ (￣^￣) （￣へ￣）（￣～￣;） (￣ェ￣;) (-、-) ( ；｀ヘ´)
o(´^｀)o (￣ω￣;)
Winking: （＾＿－） (－ｏ⌒) （＾＿−） (^_-) (^_−)☆ (⌒.−)＝★
Worried: (ーー;) ( ；´Д｀) （；￣ェ￣）ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ (￣◇￣;) ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ（−＿−；） (~_~;) ((*゜Д゜) (･_-｡ ) ⊙﹏⊙ ミ●﹏☉ミ (-'๏_๏'-) (⊙...⊙ ) ( ´△｀) (;° ロ°)
ヽ（゜ロ゜；）ノ（°o°；）
Stars / Symbols: ━━☆＞＾） ☆彡　　★彡　　☆彡　　★彡 ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ `*:;,．★ ～☆・:.,;*

Flowers: (◡﹏◡✿) (⊙﹏⊙✿) (◕﹏◕✿) (◕‿◕✿) (◕︿◕✿) (◡‿◡✿) (◡︿◡✿) (⊙‿⊙✿) (⊙︿⊙✿) (⊙△⊙✿) (◡△◡✿) (◕△◕✿) (◠△◠✿) (◕ω◕✿)(⊙ω⊙✿) (◡ω◡✿) (◠ω◠✿) (◠︿◠✿) (◠﹏◠✿) (◠‿◠✿)

KIRA: ★~(◡‿◕✿) ★~(◡﹏◕✿) ★~(◡△◕✿) ★~(◡ω◕✿) ★~(◡︿◕✿) ★~(◡︿⊙✿)
★~(◡ω⊙✿) ★~(◡‿◡✿) ★~(◡‿⊙✿) ★~(◠‿◕✿) ★~(◠︿⊙✿) ★~(◠ω⊙✿) ★~(◠△⊙✿) ★~(◠﹏⊙✿) ★~(◠︿◕✿) ★~(◠ω◕✿) ★~(◠△◕✿) ★~(◠﹏◕✿) ★~(◡︿◡✿) ★~(◡ω◡✿) ★~(◡△◡✿) ★~(◡﹏◡✿)★~(◡︿⊙✿) ★~(◡ω⊙✿) ★~(◡△⊙✿) ★~(◡﹏⊙✿)

SPARKLES!:✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* \(◕﹏◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* \(◕︿◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* \(◕‿◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* \(◕ω◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* \(◕△◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

DICKS!: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～『✧~*DICKS*~✧』 (ﾉ◕﹏◕)ﾉ～『✧~*DICKS*~✧』 (ﾉ◕︿◕)ﾉ～『✧~*DICKS*~✧』 (ﾉ◕‿◕)ﾉ～『✧~*DICKS*~✧』 (ﾉ◕ω◕)ﾉ～『✧~*DICKS*~✧』 (ﾉ◕△◕)ﾉ～『✧~*DICKS*~✧』 (ﾉ⊙ω⊙)ﾉ～『✧~*BOOBS*~✧』 (ﾉ⊙ヮ⊙)ﾉ～『✧~*BOOBS*~✧』
(ﾉ⊙‿⊙)ﾉ～『✧~*BOOBS*~✧』

Tableflip!: (ノ°□°）╯彡 ┻━┻ (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
Okay fine I'll put it back: ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

Assorted desu: ¬_¬
ಠ_ಠ
(￣。￣)～ｚｚｚ
°٢°
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
ʘ‿ʘ
(°ロ°)☝
ಥ⌣ಥ
(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ
ヽ(゜∇゜)ノ
(″･ิ_･ิ)っ
(☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞
∑(゜Д゜;)
(´･ω･`)
<丶´Д｀>
（；´Д｀）
┐('～`；)┌
(*´Д`)ﾊｧﾊｧ
( ﾟдﾟ)
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ✧
(▰˘◡˘▰)
∩(︶▽︶)∩
•ᴥ•
(。・_・。)

Bay To Breakers, 2012

Mon, 21 May 2012 09:42:31 -0700

Bay To Breakers, 2012

In 10 words, Twitter’s “similar to …”...

Thu, 10 May 2012 09:52:25 -0700

In 10 words, Twitter’s “similar to …” algorithm was just able to do what Camille Paglia couldn’t do in 10,000: posit the most precisely accurate (and succinct) critique of Lada Gaga ever written. If this isn’t definitive proof that computers have become smarter than humans, I don’t know what is.

Photo

Tue, 08 May 2012 23:47:27 -0700

Rejected Mcsweenys list, ca. 2005

Tue, 08 May 2012 09:29:53 -0700

Rejected Mcsweenys list, ca. 2005

My @SagatFrancois collectible figurine finally arrived in the...

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 21:34:13 -0700

My @SagatFrancois collectible figurine finally arrived in the mail! (Taken with instagram)

austinyoung: San Francisco. 1996. cute

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 23:56:36 -0700

austinyoung:

San Francisco. 1996.

cute

Photo

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 01:39:59 -0700

theantipodeanhomo: androphilia: Dr. Fredric Brandt NATURAL...

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 02:32:33 -0700

theantipodeanhomo:

androphilia:

Dr. Fredric Brandt

NATURAL BEAUTY

(This is Madonna’s “dermatologist”)

Explains so much

blameaspartame: OMFG they used COMIC SANS what a bunch if...

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 21:06:51 -0700

blameaspartame:

OMFG they used COMIC SANS

what a bunch if FUCKING IDIOTS

HA HA HA! I WOULDN’T EVEN WIPE FECAL RESIDUE OFF MY ANUS WITH THAT “FONT”!

lataviacanyouhandlethis: Flo (2012)

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 05:53:57 -0700

lataviacanyouhandlethis:

Flo (2012)

calloutqueen: oh cute

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 02:30:36 -0700

calloutqueen:

oh cute

calloutqueen: apdt: MARK 4 JEFFREY CAMPBELL 2012. #fubu JC 4...

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 02:24:53 -0700

calloutqueen:

apdt:

MARK 4 JEFFREY CAMPBELL 2012. #fubu

JC 4 DELUXE DINER (BEST MOZZ STIX IN TOWN)

Video

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 02:37:00 -0700

Fauxjob.com: FUTURE BLOG

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I just logged into Google+ for the first time in months only to...

FILE UNDER: WATERSHED MOMENTS IN FILM MARKETING

Guitar HERO.

The inside says: “Hot, Loaded, and Delivered to my...

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～『✧~*KAWAII DESU*~✧』

Bay To Breakers, 2012

In 10 words, Twitter’s “similar to …”...

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Rejected Mcsweenys list, ca. 2005

My @SagatFrancois collectible figurine finally arrived in the...

austinyoung: San Francisco. 1996. cute

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theantipodeanhomo: androphilia: Dr. Fredric Brandt NATURAL...

blameaspartame: OMFG they used COMIC SANS what a bunch if...

lataviacanyouhandlethis: Flo (2012)

calloutqueen: oh cute

calloutqueen: apdt: MARK 4 JEFFREY CAMPBELL 2012. #fubu JC 4...

Video

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～『✧~KAWAII DESU~✧』